Review by Rachel Chan
Like a neverending game scene out of Doom, it is one big explosion-fest that pummels your eardrums till you are numb to the lack of storyline. Or at least it did for me, staring hypnotised at a screen full of panning camera angles and All-American hero-crobatics. For one whose only conception of GI Joe was “that toy soldier whom all the boys in the schoolbus love to play with as a replacement for Barbie”, this movie was a revelation of sorts. Mainly that GI Joe is not a person, but the “Superman/woman” ideal.
Noob or not, the expectedly simplistic storyline did not make it too hard for a first-timer to understand. So let’s list down all the main themes and see what’s new. There’s a Aryan hunk of a hero who’s the top gun of his suite, his friendly neighbourhood sidekick whose raison d’etre is to spout jokes, a silent warrior who’s also – get this, a ninja! – complete with revenge seeking background, a redheaded genius who’s oblivious to the sidekick’s puppy-love obsession, a devious martial arts machine of an Asian, a slimy slick-haired businessman, a sizzlingly bad-ass noble, and Severus Snape meets Darth Vader.
Oh, the last one you mean? Yes, that’s the much hushed up character played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, whom emerges quite an integral part to the films’ own Joe-verse. ‘The Doctor’, as the resident evil scientist in situ to provide the films’ own twisted myth of creation doesn’t dissapoint at all in terms of camp with low breathing, evil plans, greasy 90s hair and the black Victorian frock coat to match. And guess who that reminds us of? The only difference here is that Potions are replaced by Nanomites, and Dumbledore doesn’t get killed in the end. But then who needs “Superhumans” when there’s no one to protect?
Suitable for uniform-fetishists, fans of Sienna Miller (who don’t mind the indie-mainstream switch), fans of Channing Tatum, critics of Marlon Wayans, and those who’ve yet to see (500) Days of Summer.
Baroness to Ninja: Don't you think we had enough of this Yin-Yang theme already?
